Wow. My brother got more than 400 hits on his blog the other day. (I’ve had a paltry 120 hits in total, much less in one day!) Sadly, this brings out the competitive streak in me. Now I want 400 hits in one day.
But I have no idea how to go about it. I’m sure I could do all the normal social networking stuff I read so much about, and get on Twitter and delicious and all those other sites, but geez, just having a blog is time-consuming enough.
Still, I’ve got to figure out a way I can beat my brother. Not in a mean-spirited way, just in a healthy brother and sister rivalry kind of way that, truth be told, isn’t all that uncommon in our family. (You should see our ping-pong matches. And don’t even ask about the Monopoly incident of ’91!)
Maybe I should write about something sensational that will get people’s attention, like saying that I, not that Ashley Dupre chick, was the call girl who brought down Eliot Spitzer’s career. Or maybe I should blog about something controversial, like that the egg definitely came before the chicken. Or maybe I should inject a lot of celebrity names like Brad Pitt and Paris Hilton that no doubt get Googled thousands of times a day.
Or maybe the whopping five to seven of you a day who happen to stumble upon my blog can help me out. Maybe you can help me take my brother down by passing my blog’s link along to your friends and family and having them pass it along to their friends and family and so on. Oh, I’m sure I won’t come anywhere near 400 hits a day, but I at least want to give him a good fight. I want to be able to call him up and say, “Put on your gloves, bro, because we’re going 10 rounds.” We’ll call it the Becker Battle of the Blogs.
Boxing announcer Michael Buffer will start the fight with his infamous “Let’s get ready to rumble” line. Stars like Oprah and Jennifer Lopez and Tom Cruise will be there in the front row. We’ll even get Sylvester Stallone to referee. (See how I’m already sneaking those celebrity names in here!) And hopefully I’ve have a little thing called luck in my corner. Now ring the bell, dammit, ’cause it’s on like Donkey Kong.